I have no idea what to talk about in this post yet. I feel like I have nothing to say.. yet I also feel like I have a lot to say. I'm at a weird point right now because I feel like I shouldn't be blogging yet I also want to blog. I think the main reason stopping me is that I don't want everyone to read this.. but this is going to be an honest post. My mind is all over the place and I need some therapeutic time so just ignore everything I have wrote, that is if I publish it.
The dilemmas of being a young adult nowadays is that there are so many paths to choose and so many decisions to make. With literally everything. Sometimes you feel like you have made good ones throughout your life and sometimes you feel like they have been bad choices. You have to try and find yourself. Which I have struggled with, I admit but I think I am finally getting there. Of course there are a lot of things that have happened that I regret, the first I can really think of was taking Geography at GCSE, yes I prefered it to History but I shouldn't have done it, I was awful at it and didn't realise until it was too late. Choice of school subjects do reflect what you are like as a person, and I don't regret most of my choices. There are things that have happened that I don't regret at all, like other subject choices.
Ok so to start with, I don't regret going to university. I was planning to go to Essex to study Literature and Sociology. But I knew the university life didn't suit me as a person, the amount of work and dedication to the subject... I knew I didn't have. After spending years at school and my year off, I just wanted to be in a job and start working properly learning a job and earning money. I do wonder what I would have missed out on because I didn't go. But I have no regrets about not going.
I don't regret becoming unemployed because of my unhappiness. If it ever got that extreme again, I would do the same thing. But where I am now.. I can't imagine it ever getting to that point.
I don't regret working at Burger King. Yes it was tough. Yes it was difficult. Yes I was happy at times and upset other times. But ultimately I have grown so much stronger in myself and more confident. I mean come on, I have been shouted out while on front counter by a customer with everyone looking at me just because of burnt meat, not my fault, and my manager hiding in the kitchen because he didn't want to take responsibility. Yes I cried after that happened round the back because I am still a softie, because who wouldn't, there was like 20ish customers there watching me get shouted at, but before I would have cried on the spot. And the manager whose fault it was blamed it on another manager who then apologised to me.
I don't regret getting into a relationship with one of the people I worked with. It ended up being one of the best choices. I got a lot of hassling with it, the amount of drama that was caused by others was unreal but he was the reason I kept going. Working with your partner in a fast food place is the most stressful and hardest thing for a relationship, I can tell you that for certain but somehow we made it work for 11 months until I left. We are still making it work now and are both happy.
I don't regret working at where I am now as I very much prefer it there than where I was. I'm so much happier in myself and where I am right now.
I don't regret doing A levels. It was one of the toughest times in my life but I got through it. It was a hard working point and after doing them, I felt like I was done with school and education. Hence why no university. But I did enjoy the social side and the stuff I was learning about.
I also don't regret doing "soft" GCSE subjects, I did Art and Sociology and I don't regret doing them. Food Tech maybe I do regret, but that is only because of the coursework. I don't regret having an amazing group of friends who were there for me throughout my school life. They were the ones that got me through it.
And onto probably what you do want to read about.. my regrets in life.
I regret that I stayed at Burger King for so long when I was so unhappy. I worked there for almost 3 years. Which is crazy. When I first started it was great. Genuinely it was, we had great people who worked there, we all genuinely got on well and worked hard. But most of the good people left and in came the lads. I shouldn't have stayed there for a year, I regret that now. I should have got out sooner and found another job, but the hours just took up all my free time.
I regret spending so much time and effort on some people who weren't really worth the effort. I'm sorry if this offends anyone. Like Ellen, I did so much for her when she was off school for a while because of her back operation. I visited her in hospital, helped her catch up on all the lessons she missed. I felt I was the one trying to make all the conversation and we were meant to be best friends. Mind you she has removed all of our friend group from Facebook apart from a couple who went to university I noticed. I don't feel sad about it.. I just regret the amount of time I put into our friendship. Also like Jordans best friend, I tried so hard to be friends with her but it was so difficult when all she wanted to do was talk about Jordan all the time. At least we are on speaking terms now though, but again regret the time that I tried to put into us becoming friends. I also regret the time I spent talking to her and apologising for something I didn't need to apologise for. I know I'm being honest but I can't help it anymore. Friendship is hard work sometimes and it makes me sad what some people are like with friendship.
I regret the petty arguments and past comments that I have made in the past. There is no need for that, I remember being attacked online because I said one girl never used to go to school because she was skiving. Which was true but she didnt like that one bit! Nowadays, I just stay out of things unless something needs to be said. If it isn't anything nice then don't say it.
I regret being second best when I was at BK. Another girl who joined the same time as me got praised all the time and it was very clear she was everyones favourite. I was only just 16 when I started and was very intimidated by having a job so young and they almost sacked me because I was so quiet. I'm not that intimidated now thank god. I just wish there wasn't any favouritism in the workplace like that, because they made it so so clear.
I regret not making creativity a bigger part of my life in the past. Time seems to go by so fast. I count blogging as a form of creativity though and that still seems to continue. More creativity for the future.
I regret how much I allowed sixth form to overtake me and my life. The work consumed me and my life in those two years, like A levels do. I regret allowing the pressurising teachers comments to get to me and feel like I need to do more work when I was doing enough already.
I regret listening to a certain English teachers advice telling me to go to university. Then again, his opinion I could have easily said no but I was lost with what I wanted to do so not too many regrets, he just wanted to give me more options.
And last regret... I regret making this blog post instead of revising for my exam. But I have been revising a lot for it and figured I deserved a break! I wrote so much more than I intended! Hope you enjoyed this honest blog post!
So yeah, it's all good...
Amy :)
No comments:
Post a Comment