For my first blog post of 2020, I wanted to say hello. Hello 2020. Another year, same me. I'm not really one for trying to change myself and giving myself or my lifestyle a big overhaul in celebration of the new year. Therefore I'm just going to continue as I am, being myself, living life and creating very rambley blog posts along the way.
For me, the new year started surrounded by friends, drinking and playing games. It was a great night! I prefer staying in, especially on super busy nights like New Years, as you can communicate with people more, reflect back on the past year that bit more and start the new year surrounded by friends.
One of the main things which really changed for me in 2019 was my views on myself as a person and becoming more comfortable with being myself. Which is something I really didn't expect from this year. I wouldn't say I'm 100% there however getting this far is a major breakthrough for me, and I am a person who does suffer a lot from low self esteem! Don't get me wrong, I still have bad days which can really bring me down, and I can still be awkward and quiet at times but I'm noticing a gradual difference in the way I feel about myself, which is an amazing achievement and a big step for me.
Honestly... I've also got to a point in my life where I really don't care what a lot of people think of me as a person. I'm not perfect, I'm not the prettiest, most intelligent or funniest person in the world however I am myself and I'm pretty happy with that. I think it is a part of growing up, but I've just accepted the fact there is no point in worrying or stressing out over someone elses opinion of me, especially someone who doesn't even know me properly! Obviously I still care what my family and close friends think of me. If people like me then great, if people don't then that is okay too. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and that is absolutely fine!
The things that I really want to achieve in 2020 include creating amazing memories with my family and friends and going out and doing different things. Which was pretty much the majority of 2019 for me, so I'll happily take another 12 months of amazing memories surrounded by fantastic people!
Another thing I also want to continue doing is taking every day as it comes. We all only have one life and we should appreciate every moment whilst we can. We have a lot to be thankful for in this world. I can't stress enough how important it is to be kind and supportive of others. As it is great to see other people happy, we are all trying to get through life the best we can and the best way to get through it is happiness and laughter, and supportive people.
I'm going to be extremely honest and admit that in the past couple of months, I've been very worried about what the future may hold. I've been stressing way more about it than what people think. After a few things that happened last year, I've been more conscious about the future and what it may hold. And I know it's stupid to worry about things you can't necessarily control, however it is one of those things that has really bothered and affected me as a person recently. It is life, the unpredictability of life and I really do need to stop stressing about the unpredictability of the future, as sometimes it just can't be controlled.
Nothing is guaranteed in life. Nothing. Your family, your friends, your job, your partner, your home, your goals in life... You can be as happy as Larry one day and falling to pieces the next. You can have amazing days, and days you would rather just forget. We all have good days. We all have bad days. Therefore taking each day as it comes is so important.
This is why I don't and will never understand why people say that 2020 will be their year - Life is so unpredictable and you never know what is around the corner. We are all going to go through bad times at some point in 2020. Unfortunately it's inevitable, and going through these times makes you appreciate the good times more. Taking each day as it comes, whether they are good or bad times is key to getting through the year.
Right now, I have an amazing support group of family and friends around me, a great boyfriend who somehow puts up with my stresses and worries, a lovely little home and overall, I have had a great 2019 which will hopefully continue into 2020.
I try not to compare myself to others which I am getting much better at doing. Being in a digital age, it is so easy to see what other people are doing and compare your life to theirs. I've done it, and I'm sure plenty of other young people have as well. If you are reading this, you are doing great. You don't need to try to conform to standards and expectations. Being yourself is the best thing you can be!
Social media usage is also something I want to try and drastically change during 2020. I hardly use social media as a tool to communicate with others, and I hardly use it in daily life. Which is still going to remain the same. It is embarrassing how bad I am at communicating through social media. Some people have accepted that, some people haven't! For me, its a matter of preference and something I have decided for my own wellbeing. I'm not sorry for it. I love seeing people face-to-face, I love having laughs and making memories. I want to be able to look back on my twenties when I'm older and remember socialising with people and not just through a phone screen.
I've also made the decision to uninstall Instagram last year. I still have my account, however I am not active, nor am I checking my feed. Instagram is my main form of social media in respect to posting and checking, therefore it feels a bit strange to not be on there! I have decided to have a break for various reasons, Instagram is my most used social media, however it is also said to be the worst social media for affecting a persons mental health. Therefore despite being in a reasonably good place right now, I still think this break is going to do me the world of good. Even after almost a week of not going on Instagram, I'm already starting to feel a few benefits!
Social media breaks can be so refreshing, I did the exact same with Snapchat a couple of years ago and I haven't looked back, nor have I been on there for over two years. I'm not planning to be away from Instagram for that long, more like a few months! I feel like I am definitely going to feel the effect of this one more however I am also really excited for the break away.
If you feel like social media is affecting your mental health in any way, I would definitely suggest taking some time away from social media and clear your head. The way I look at social media is that people post about the best parts of their lives, it isn't representative of an individual's life on a whole. It's someone's highlights reel, and sometimes I think people can forget that, including myself. This is the reason I love to blog as I can ramble as much as I want, and I am pretty honest on here as well.
Balancing time for yourself, your family, your friends and partner (if you are in a relationship) is key to being happy. Sometimes it can be unsuccessful, sometimes it works. Sometimes you just have to remember that you can't please everyone. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. Especially when going through horrible times. Luckily I've been in a very happy and good place in the past months therefore I've tried to go out more and enjoy every moment whilst I can, and whilst I am feeling positive. I'm not perfect and I won't get the balance right at times. I'm only human and I'll make mistakes, like we all do. The best thing is that the people who surround me are supportive and I'm appreciative of that.
I'm not quite sure what the point of this blog post was. It was a bit of a ramble but some things never change. For my blog posts this year, I'm still going to continue to aim to publish at least once a month, whenever that may be (I'm still aiming for the first Monday of every month!)
So yeah, it's all good...
Amy
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