Today's post from the past is A Note To My Loved Ones, which was drafted on the 23rd September 2019. I didn't publish this one at the time as I thought it too depressing, but reading it back today, I want to be a bit more honest about times which are tough. Although I am generally a positive person, there are times where things happen and it isn't possible to be happy all the time. If you are looking for a happier blog post to read, then my next post from the past will be published in the next few days!
September has been a month of adjustment back to normality and everyday working life. After an extremely busy month of August, it was time to go back to work, back to a daily routine and also catch up with family and friends who I haven't seen in a good while. Which has been great, it has definitely been a bit more chilled out and I do enjoy having a balance of when life gets busy and having some chill times as well. Before I get started, I will apologise for the depressive and reflective nature of this blog post now.
On the 17th September 2019, a guy that I knew was involved in a really serious motorcycle accident. It was so serious that he passed away whilst on the way to the hospital. I didn't know him well, however what I did know is that he was a true and proper lad with an amazing heart. I first met him in 2017, he gave me a true bear hug (which is what he was known for), and he also had some crazy Irish dance moves! He was the most tallest guy I had ever met, but he had the biggest heart... For that reason, he was known as the Big Friendly Giant. He was always there at any of Jordan's family events and he brought so much positivity and a sarcastic sense of humour to everything. He was a part of Jordan's family based in Southampton, and Jordan has known him all his life so it really did hit him when he heard the news.
When anyone you know dies, grief can affect people in so many different ways. It was more a shock as it was just so unexpected. Jordan woke me up (I was asleep at the time when he received the news) and explained what had happened, all whilst I was dazed and half asleep. When I woke up properly the next morning, I was confused, shocked, and upset. How could this happen? It was such a shock as it was the most unexpected thing. He wasn't ill, he was only a few years older than me. He was just returning home after a day at work and got into an accident, which proved to be fatal.
One moment he was alive, an average working day, on his way home from work... and the next moment he wasn't alive. I can't even believe I am typing this out right now as the idea of it seems so insanely unbelievable. However it did happen. And it happens way more than people think.
Whenever someone passes away unexpectedly, it truly hits home that life is so short and can be so unpredictable. We could die today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, in the next few years. There is no telling when anyone could die in life. I don't like thinking about death, however it is inevitable. Death will happen to everyone at some stage in life, and sometimes it creeps up on you when you least expect it. Therefore you have to live your life in the moment and do what you want to do before it could potentially be too late. You never know when your last day could be.
Today, I wanted to write a post full of things that I might not necessarily say so much in real life. It might seem a little like a death note (don't worry, I'm not planning on dying any time soon) however it has made me realise that so many people who are taken from this Earth unexpectedly don't get a chance to say goodbye properly, nor do they get to say what they really want to say to their loved ones. Therefore I'm making this post today. I want to put my own feelings down in writing before it could potentially be too late.
To my family, you are the most important thing in the world to me. Family will always come first and I love you all so much. I can not even begin to list how much you have done for me in my life. I know for a fact you will always be there for me and have my back with whatever life throws at me. We are crazy, I sometimes find you crazy as well however we have had incredible times together and powered through the tough times. To my mum, you have been my rock, my support, you make me smile and I am so grateful for everything you have done for me. I truly don't know what I would do without you in my life. To my dad, you are incredible... Your work ethic is one to be admired and I am so proud to get to call you my dad. To my brother, you are brilliant. We have had a true and typical sibling rivalry when growing up, and I am so happy our relationship has improved as time has gone on. I couldn't imagine not having you in my life.
To my boyfriend Jordan, I love you. Ever since I met you five years ago across the BK counter when you were asking for a large Fanta on your lunch break, I never knew we would come so far into a relationship together. I've learnt we are very similar, yet extremely different! We've spent four incredible years together, we live together, we've travelled together and I always look forward to our future. I try not to take any day I spend with you for granted, you make every day that bit better for me as you always know how to make me smile and laugh. You are the most kind hearted man I know. I know a lot of relationships fail in this day and age, however I truly do believe we have something special. You provide me with so much reassurance and make me feel like I am the only girl in the world, and you still somehow give me butterflies in my stomach to this day!
To my friends, you are my rock. I don't think you actually realise how happy you have made me as a person. Thank you so much for giving this awkward introverted girl a chance and for actually wanting to be friends with me! You've been there for me when times have got tough. When I've felt down, you always somehow bring me back up and make me smile. I'm eternally grateful for your kindness and honesty. You also manage to actually put up with me and my craziness as well... and we always have the best times whether that includes going out, getting tipsy or just staying in having a chilled out night. I've had such amazing memories with different friends, some who may not read this and I'm so grateful for them all. Granted I'm not the best at messaging to say the least, however when we do meet up, it beats all the messages in the world (for me anyway). I love you guys and wouldn't change you for the world.
Although I say all of this, there are some occasions where I may not have been the best person to others, whether that be family or friends. If I have ever made you feel hurt or upset, I want to apologise. I want to apologise as I never mean to cause pain, sadness or anger. I want to apologise for being bad at communicating online, as this is a major flaw of mine in this modern world. I want to apologise if I have done or said anything offensive. Overall, I just really want everyone to be happy and enjoy life.. Granted that it might not be possible all the time but we can give it a good go at any given time!
All I have ever wanted from life is to lead a happy, positive life with people who I care about, and with people who care about me and respect me too. And I'm living it now. If anyone is reading this, then I hope you are enjoying life in the best possible way, living every day with people you care about (and who care about you too) and doing the things that you want to do and achieve in life. Life is way too short not to!
One moment he was alive, an average working day, on his way home from work... and the next moment he wasn't alive. I can't even believe I am typing this out right now as the idea of it seems so insanely unbelievable. However it did happen. And it happens way more than people think.
Whenever someone passes away unexpectedly, it truly hits home that life is so short and can be so unpredictable. We could die today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, in the next few years. There is no telling when anyone could die in life. I don't like thinking about death, however it is inevitable. Death will happen to everyone at some stage in life, and sometimes it creeps up on you when you least expect it. Therefore you have to live your life in the moment and do what you want to do before it could potentially be too late. You never know when your last day could be.
Today, I wanted to write a post full of things that I might not necessarily say so much in real life. It might seem a little like a death note (don't worry, I'm not planning on dying any time soon) however it has made me realise that so many people who are taken from this Earth unexpectedly don't get a chance to say goodbye properly, nor do they get to say what they really want to say to their loved ones. Therefore I'm making this post today. I want to put my own feelings down in writing before it could potentially be too late.
To my family, you are the most important thing in the world to me. Family will always come first and I love you all so much. I can not even begin to list how much you have done for me in my life. I know for a fact you will always be there for me and have my back with whatever life throws at me. We are crazy, I sometimes find you crazy as well however we have had incredible times together and powered through the tough times. To my mum, you have been my rock, my support, you make me smile and I am so grateful for everything you have done for me. I truly don't know what I would do without you in my life. To my dad, you are incredible... Your work ethic is one to be admired and I am so proud to get to call you my dad. To my brother, you are brilliant. We have had a true and typical sibling rivalry when growing up, and I am so happy our relationship has improved as time has gone on. I couldn't imagine not having you in my life.
To my boyfriend Jordan, I love you. Ever since I met you five years ago across the BK counter when you were asking for a large Fanta on your lunch break, I never knew we would come so far into a relationship together. I've learnt we are very similar, yet extremely different! We've spent four incredible years together, we live together, we've travelled together and I always look forward to our future. I try not to take any day I spend with you for granted, you make every day that bit better for me as you always know how to make me smile and laugh. You are the most kind hearted man I know. I know a lot of relationships fail in this day and age, however I truly do believe we have something special. You provide me with so much reassurance and make me feel like I am the only girl in the world, and you still somehow give me butterflies in my stomach to this day!
To my friends, you are my rock. I don't think you actually realise how happy you have made me as a person. Thank you so much for giving this awkward introverted girl a chance and for actually wanting to be friends with me! You've been there for me when times have got tough. When I've felt down, you always somehow bring me back up and make me smile. I'm eternally grateful for your kindness and honesty. You also manage to actually put up with me and my craziness as well... and we always have the best times whether that includes going out, getting tipsy or just staying in having a chilled out night. I've had such amazing memories with different friends, some who may not read this and I'm so grateful for them all. Granted I'm not the best at messaging to say the least, however when we do meet up, it beats all the messages in the world (for me anyway). I love you guys and wouldn't change you for the world.
Although I say all of this, there are some occasions where I may not have been the best person to others, whether that be family or friends. If I have ever made you feel hurt or upset, I want to apologise. I want to apologise as I never mean to cause pain, sadness or anger. I want to apologise for being bad at communicating online, as this is a major flaw of mine in this modern world. I want to apologise if I have done or said anything offensive. Overall, I just really want everyone to be happy and enjoy life.. Granted that it might not be possible all the time but we can give it a good go at any given time!
All I have ever wanted from life is to lead a happy, positive life with people who I care about, and with people who care about me and respect me too. And I'm living it now. If anyone is reading this, then I hope you are enjoying life in the best possible way, living every day with people you care about (and who care about you too) and doing the things that you want to do and achieve in life. Life is way too short not to!
So yeah, it's all good...
Amy
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