Realizations...

I don't really know how to start this blog post. So I'm just going to talk about stuff that's going on right now.

Ok, so main events of the last few days. Saturday, I sold a £10 burger. Sunday, we drove 50 miles for nothing. Monday....I can't actually even remember. Apart from my graph drawings. Tuesday, I was singing and a teacher told me to be quiet. Wednesday... just maths.

I really don't want the results back for our mocks, yet I kinda do. I know mine have gone bad. Like in sociology our teacher said "some people have got A's.... and some have got U's" and they looked at me for that last bit. And in English, he started saying about an idea someone (me) in the class had which didn't get marks. Maths.... well we all know the outcome of that. Psychology.... all I know is that they have finished marking all papers and Strax thinks that what he expected us to get, we got. (If that makes any sense?!?) Plus I'll be dropping Maths. ( I have decided now. After we get the results, I'm definitely dropping it)

Also, my job contract expires this month. So I'm scared for that too. I think it would be brilliant if they did decide to keep me on... but I wouldn't be too gutted if they got rid of me as I'd have more time to focus on sixth form. Also, during my last contract review and this one, I had cut down my days to working just saturdays. So I'm not holding out too much hope. But I also feel more pressure to keep it due to the fact none of the family household members have a stable job. My dad is self employed, and just works when he pleases. My mum does odd jobs like delivering books and leaflets, but again chooses when she works. Plus she doesn't do these jobs all the time. I just feel I'm working constantly and when I do, I get stressed.... that's why I keep making myself relax but then I get stressed about relaxing when there is a load of stuff needing to be completed. I can't win!

 I have nothing really to look forward to in life right now. It was the John Newman concert I was really looking forward to... but now what can I look forward to? My injection tonight that I should have had 15 years ago? Apart from other peoples birthdays, I have nothing to really look forward to. And that makes me sad.

So the point of this post is just to be warned, may have another frustration thursday again. I just feel so negative right now. I really can't wait until I can finish A levels.

Sorry for the very depressing blog post, this is just how I feel right now. I need to be more happy.

So yeah, its all good...

A :)